Alife Pattens's story is like a car accident - you'd like to look away, but yet you feel voyeuristically drawn to stare. Like, "what the heck happened here?!?" Granted this isn't the most scholarly story and probably finds itself more comfortable on an episode of Springer, it got me thinking about the rights that a teen parent has. I don't know the statistics but I would imagine teen fathers are not always the most involved. They probably continue living life like a young person, and I imagine many of the mother do too with the grandparents to pick up the slack.
Unless of course your Sarah Palin's child, and then you are forced to get married. Although it sounds like a viable solution, in reality very few of these couples pull this off. Believe me I have seen enough in my office to know. Though I am not denying the success stories, often these couples either break up as teens, or continue in a very difficult marriage.
As much as I want to respect these teen parent's lives, the gaping hole in this is what about the rights of the child? Don't their rights count for anything? I think these children have the right to grow up in a home where their parents have the level of maturity to take care of them. I wonder what would happen if we mandated that children born to teen parents under a certain age are adopted out. Would it make them think twice about having sex, or at the very least using a condom? Or would it make them think think their off the hook to have unlimited promiscuity.
Granted I don't see this happening any time soon. Grandparents would put up quite a fight to this. Interestingly it is the pregnant girl's mother that has the greatest influence on her daughters choice on whether to keep the baby or place the child for adoption. I have personally known children raised by teen parents, and although I love these kids I still have the nagging feeling of how much better the child's life would have been in a home with parents who are more ready and desperately trying to have a child of their own.
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You wonder if it would make them think twice about sex, I wonder if it would make them think about it at all. Once the decision has been made for them, some teens may see this as an easy fix. So I got pregnant, so what? I don't have to take care of the child, the state will do it! Even if the child is adopted out chances are the parent will retain some kind of visitation rights. I have to wonder when people say that abstinence doesn't work. It seems to work just fine for the majority of people where I am from.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Lucas! I think that if children from teen parents were automatically adopted out, there would be much less responsibility with sex decisions. As far as childrens' rights, it is hard to say. I think that children should be allowed to grow up in a loving, mature environment. But even some older, two parent households cannot supply that.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that the adolescents are thinking about the consequences of sexual intercourse. Consequences or not, I don't think it will change the behavior, you need more immediate reinforcememt for that, like a shock collar. It could be a qualitative pilot study but I have a sneaking suspicion it wouldn't get past IRB.
ReplyDeleteIn all reality though, I know of a few cases, where the young women really changed their minds and lives after a child was brought into their lives. Committed to finishing school, waiting to marry a guy that would respect that they have raised a child on their own, or with help from parents. It is hard to say that we should ... for all cases. It may be the very thing that helps them see consequences for choices, the very thing that has them think twice next time, the very thing that motivates them to be better. It is probably not the norm, but I think it can be a good thing as well.
I think the biggest issue for me is the fact that the boy is 13 years old and doesnt know what the word "financially" is. In another interview which I read soon after this story came out, the boy said that he recieved about 10 pounds per week from his dad. At what point is it the parents responsibility to make sure that their child is acting responsibly. If I heard that my 12 year old brother had a sexually active relationship with a 15 year old girl (or a girlfriend for that matter) I would flip.
ReplyDeleteThe girl is 15 and definetly should have known better. However, I think that she is old enough to make that decision and live with the consequences. The 13 year old boy I think is not developed enough to make that kind of a decision for himself.