In reading this article closely, I found what might be a few clues of what went wrong. The first clue was that the dad was 23 y/o and the child was 2, making him either 21 or 20 when the child was conceived. In addition this dad and the mom were never married and are no longer together. Essentially this child is the product of some youthful transient union. First off, I wish people were more responsible with sex. I would say use condoms or birth control but I've known plenty to get pregnant even with those prohibitions. The other thing is that if you are young, unmarried and pregnant - give the child to someone who is ready for the huge responsibility of being a parent.
Indeed being a parent is a constant act of unselfishness. It is not about you. It requires giving up midnight showings if you can't find a babysitter at the very least. Needless to say I think an appropriate punishment would be to lock the dad in a car seat for a few hours in a car or maybe sterilize him. In the end the child will be punished far more by the thoughtless actions of his parents, than his dad ever will be.
I agree that our society needs to find ways to encourage more teens and young single adults to give up their babies for adoption. It's almost socially unacceptable to do so nowadays. Even one of my extended family members, who planned to give her son up for adoption, changed her mind on the delivery table. Her parents have done most of the child rearing. This young man is lucky, even though he never met his biological father; he is doing well. But for every one of him, I suspect there are 3-4 who have had unstable childhoods.
ReplyDeleteAnother policy idea would be to target young single dads for intervention programs to help them strengthen their roles as dads. Right now the only policy we have for these young dads is to try to collect child support from them. If we tell men that they are only worthwhile as moneymakers, we are giving them the wrong message.
A smart move by the government would be to start teaching birth control and abstinence. You can't prevent teens or early 20's from having sex. But, you can educate teens in high school about using protection. Also, relationship and parenting classes should be offered in high school.
ReplyDeleteWhat? We want to raise math and science scores, but who cares about divorce and teen pregnancy.
Whether you choose abstinence or protection, I agree with Kathy that we do need to encourage adoption. I also love the idea of targeting these fathers with more education, since often they continue to think like kids at the risk of their own children. Just how to enforce this, I am not sure. Would it be that if you're a single dad under 23 you have to take educational classes? Maybe just provide an incentive to attend rather than force the issue.
ReplyDeleteI agree that adoption should be more encouraged. It is sad because not only are the children in these scenarios punished, but also the young people themselves also jeopardize much of their own future by their actions. It is a sad to think about.
ReplyDeleteI have to tell you that after reading you blog I had a nightmare that I left my baby in the car for an hour by herself. It was horrible!!! As far as what to do about irresponsible parents... There are some good ideas here, I tend to agree with the education bit. New parents should get info on how to appropriately care for their child. And not just the moms! In the hospital I had to watch several videos on safety and child care etc... My husband, however, had no such obligation. It seems to me that it would help!
ReplyDelete